World's Worst BFF

When you feel like you haven’t been the best friend you could be to someone, rest assured you are probably doing better than I am.  I suck at being a friend right now.  I really want that “right now” to be true.  I would like to think I have been a good friend in the past.  I would love to think that I will again one day soon.  But right now I fully recognize that I suck as a friend.  Why is that, you ask.  Oh, well let me tell you. 

I have forgotten how to use the phone.  Not literally—the insanity hasn't gotten that bad yet.  But there are days where I forget to return calls or simply just touch base with someone I care about.  I went two weeks without talking to my mom, a person I normally talk to at least once a day.  It was a combination of forgetting to call and simply not being able to pick up the phone.  My phone is tiny—I’m sure I could have physically picked it up.  But sometimes the thought of making conversation with anyone is overwhelming.   I have ignored my phone for days on end because the only social interaction I was able to deal with was my children and husband.  There are two people in my life who won’t stop calling so I am forced to talk to them.  You know who you are, Angie and Kerri.  They won’t take “stop calling” for an answer which is a good thing.  I am forced to talk to them occasionally just to get the stupid phone to stop ringing and because they know where I live and wouldn't hesitate to come over. 

For whatever reason, texting , tweeting, and interacting online (I don’t know why, but that sounds scandalous;) with some of my peeps has saved the few remaining shreds of sanity I have.  I think it is a control thing.  I can walk away from any of those interactions when I need a break.  There is no pressure.  I respond when I want, and I can think about what I want to say before I say it (though I rarely do).  To those friends, thank you.  You make me giggle and sometimes even snort (though not often because I am a delicate flower;).  I love y’all and am so thankful for our texts, tweets, emails, and FB conversations. 

My New Year’s resolution for 2017 is to be a better friend.  It’s not procrastinating…. It’s planning really far ahead.