Sex Gives My Doctor The Willies

Or maybe I should rephrase that…. Talking  about sex makes my gynecologist uncomfortable.  First, I love my doctor.  She is my age (a very young 35), very knowledgeable, compassionate, and thorough.  She does have one flaw.  She is a doctor who deals almost exclusively with the hoohah and talking about sex makes her very uncomfortable.  I didn’t ask any questions about small animals or which sex toys she recommends.  We were discussing my impending uterine eviction and all that would entail.  She explained that I would be having a total hysterectomy meaning that my cervix will be removed, too.  Based on my knowledge of human anatomy and a lot of 1am Google research, I was nervous hearing this.  I wanted some reassurance that this wouldn’t negatively impact my sex life.  Close your eyes, Mom, we’re going to talk about hoohahs and weenies. 

I asked Dr. P how losing my cervix would affect my post-surgery sex life.  I haven’t seen someone that nervous since I asked my mom where babies come from when I was in the 4^th grade.  God bless Dr. P --she began fidgeting with her computer and shifting in her seat.  She wouldn’t look me directly in the eye.  Didn’t she take some classes on this stuff in medical school?  I used medical terminology.  I even used the words “intercourse” and “post-coital”.  She was sweating and drinking water.  I was worried for her health if I continued my line of questioning.   She gave me a few roundabout answers including, “Well, it’s different for everyone” and “It’s really difficult to know those things ahead of time”.  Not selling the finer points of this surgery, Dr. P.  Finally, I let her off the hook and decided to continue my own research.   I also enlisted the husband’s help in some field research.  Ewww—not outside.  There are bugs and dirt out there;).